Wider die Megalophobie

Alle Leser dieses Blogs sind hiermit ultimativ dazu aufgefordert, im Namen der Gleichstellung von Menschen mit alternativen Ernährungsanlagen, diesen emanzipativen Beitrag des unermüdlichen Streiters für Freiheit, Gleichheit und die Drittmittel des Lehrstuhls für Ernährungsungleicheitsforschung mit besonderer Berücksichtigung der Bekämpfung megalophober Ressentiments der Universität Haarwart, Mark „Pizza“ Shea, zu lesen und alle rückständigen Vorurteile aus ihren Köpfen zu verbannen.

Die Details und seinen innovativen Ansatz erklärt Mark Shea jenseits des Links. Hier ein Auszug:

My reader, clearly unfamiliar with the wonderful diversity within the Lardo/Giganto/Brickhouse/Trans-Fatty community, simply has no understanding of how things work.

It’s like this: When I am fat I am, to quote the Prophet Gaga, “born this way” and simply living out my nature. You are required to celebrate this natural urge to fork what I want, as often as I want, with whom I want—and your Church should be compelled to pay for my meals since food is clearly necessary to human health.  Asking me to curb my appetites is like asking me to change my sex.  It’s absolutely impossible.  Nature made me the way I am.

However, when I become, as I have chosen to do, a “trans-fatty”, you need to realize that I am a thin person who was born into a fat person’s body. So I have the right to eat as much as I want, to practice safe snacks by making sure to purge after each meal, and alter myself by surgery and amputation because there is no such thing as “nature”.  It’s all a construct of dead white males when all that really matters is My Sacred Feelings. This too is something that the State has the right to compel your bigoted Church to pay for—because it’s none of your business what I do in the privacy of my own kitchen.  And you cannot just “tolerate” what I do.  You. MUST. Approve!—because I can’t be healthy unless my feelings are affirmed, whether freely or under threat of fines and jail for you Christian bigots who talk about the “sin of gluttony” and the “virtue of temperance”.  What is this?  The Dark Ages?

I guess what I’m trying to say is this: Whatever pleasurable sensation I want is the most important thing in the world and a truly tolerant society would recognize that and smash anybody who dares to question that—for the sake of diversity.  It would also force the Catholic Church to pay so that I don’t have to face any unpleasant consequences of indulging my appetites.  Because if you Catholics don’t pay for it, then you are denying my right to health and imposing your values on me.

Eine treffende Zusammenfassung der modernen Mentalität zum Thema Sexualität, übertragen auf die Nahrungsaufnahme.


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